Home sweet home both here and there

A vacation is never a vacation when you practically take all the contents of your household, including several children, with you. Add in there 13 hours of airports, layovers, and crowds, its enough to make you wonder why ya do it! Long day, quick baths, and straight to bed put to close the end of a really good home visit.

I didn't take my camera, because I figured there are plenty of family members with cameras, it was one less item to pack. And not a single one of them thought to bring their camera to the blessing of the newest baby in the family, the family luncheon after, or the dinner that night. No one brought it to Thanksgiving, to the fun filled sleepover with 5 of the grandchildren at Grandma's house, or to just capture our fantastic faces that they don't see every day. That's what I get for figuring wrong! (*we did take several on James's phone, but it's just not the same, I won't share with you my pain of an uncaptured momentous vacation.)

We took advantage of having time with our kids that we don't otherwise get with life in the way, and enjoyed a dinosaur museum, playing in the snow, driving to all our old places of memories, christmas lights at Temple Square, and lots.of.food. James dubbed it the 'food-cation.' It was bitter sweet cooking lunch yesterday at home, oh how I got spoiled not having to fix 24 meals for 5 people.

As we drove around in Salt Lake City, everything was familiar of course, but disconnected. The mountains made me feel like I was safe in protective arms again, but made me miss all the trees I have gotten used to seeing around me for the last 3 years. I loved not needing so much time to get to places, I enjoyed seeing faces of people who remind me that I am loved, and I savoured the laughter from cousins playing together. It tugged on my heart strings to see them all cry so hard saying goodbye to each other too.

There wasn't a moment or place that made me want to say "this is where we should be." Because there is a lot about the sheltered convenient life that I don't want to assume again. But coming back to NC and seeing everything that is familiar here too didn't give me that "this is where we should be" feeling either. I was relieved to see my home was just how I left it, and I was grateful to be able to kick off my shoes so to speak and settle in. Our home has become a nice reflection of our personalities, our hard work, and our little family. I just wish I could take this, and all the things I love and miss about my other home, and fit them together in the same frame. Something is missing in my life and I can't figure out what.