Scarlett's birth story

I asked my midwife how she determines the length of labor. It's different with each birth professional. Some only count when contractions are 3 minutes apart or less, but the end of my labor never got to that point. Others count when the cervix dilated with the contractions. So...going with that one, let's see...

I started with a bout of contractions that lasted the entire night when I was sick, got to the point I thought I should wake up the midwife, then they stopped. Remember that?
So from that round, I had dilated to 3 cm, and was ordered to take it easy so the baby didn't come while I was sick.

A week later I had another night of contractions, and at the end of my sickness from the cough, so I started working with them. Walking, sitting on the birth ball, they kept coming. Warm bath and resting, they still kept coming. But I felt awful through them, I had a big headache, ringing ears, nausea, dizzy when I walked. I called my midwife the next morning-she actually never got my mssg until the following day after that. She was concerned and wanted to do some tests to check for Toxemia. So she came to my house that very morning. Usually I go to her, so this got me a little alarmed. After the tests, if she felt further concern for Toxemia, she would send me to get a liver panel of blood work done, and possibly consider induction right away. Thankfully everything was mild, and manageable as long as I made sure every day to apply her advice.

Friday, another round of contractions began again. These came faster and harder, and I didn't feel good again through them. My BP was higher (I run very low when I'm pregnant, so this wasn't medically high, but it was high for me. And I felt ill because of it.) I dilated to 6cm and no matter what I did to keep them going, they still died off by Saturday morning. I was devastated. I cried. I was so tired. My uterus was so sore from the constant contracting. My heart was tired from the up and down the entire pregnancy was. My midwives packed up and headed home for the day, as did my mother in law who stayed the night. She took Maxwell home with her since James and I were up the entire night before. And we tried to go on about as a normal day.

The next day, Sunday, my midwife came back to check how things stayed, to see if pushing them along would be an option. Trying some things to induce. But my cervix had started to return posterior. The baby's head pulled up during a contraction instead of down. So we wondered how things might be if we pushed them. What if my water prematurely ruptured while she tried stripping my membranes? It could spur on labor...but it could also stall out again if baby's head didn't drop down in the best position when the waters broke. I didn't have any concerns for Toxemia, so we decided not to push things. I decided that I needed to let her decide when she wanted to come, even if I had to have several more times of start and stop laboring. It was hard to keep finding strength. The entire pregnancy had so many stresses.

Monday, I had a melt down. I had been having irregular contractions all day, and other signs of impending labor, but it wasn't anything too hopeful. I cried to James that night, and he listened and reassured me. He's good like that. I did my exercises as usual, to help the baby's position. But regardless she was hung up on my left hip my whole pregnancy. I did inversion stretches to help her head align. I talked to her. And I begged my body to get with the program! Either stop all together, or just get started and stay with it.

9PM that evening after my exercises, I felt the baby's head and position change. And wouldn't ya know, contractions started up. I worked with them for a while, had a late snack, and tried to get some rest. They were every 15 minutes apart, but they were HARD. I was already dilated here, people. I was hoping the rest of the work would go fast. But I was up the entire night, they didn't come any closer so I didn't wake up James or the midwife. But by 6AM as I got up to see the kids off to school, I started using the birth ball again, and they picked up to every 6-8 minutes.

James dropped Maxwell off with my friend Tiffany, regardless of how the day went, I was still exhausted. James headed off to work until further notice, and I let my midwife know how I was doing. By 11 I let James know that I needed his support to get through the contractions, and he headed straight home. I was still having 6-8 minutes between, so I used that time to start some laundry, straighten up the house a bit. By 1:00 James called the midwife, she cleared her schedule the rest of the day and came over (again!) And I worried and wondered if it would stay strong this time, or die off again after a while of work. When the midwife arrived, she observed a few contractions and I asked her to check my cervix again to see if the baby was effectively working with them this time. It seemed she was! Finally! And my cervix moved back forward, I was dilated to a 7. At that point the midwife and I decided it was good to try stripping my membranes and stretching the cervix. Then James and I went for a walk. We took Maren and Kellan with us, it was beautiful spring weather, I enjoyed that walk quite a bit, despite the hard contractions stopping me in front of each neighbor's house!

Things kept at that pace for hours. 6-8 minutes apart steady at their intensity. I tried to find some time to relax, had some snacks, and labored with James rubbing my low back with each one. As the day wore on, I started to worry about them stopping. Or another night without sleep. And secretly, I didn't want a Wednesday's child full of woe ;) I begged for her to be born that day. To be done. Contractions started to get more uncomfortable to work through, and the cramping between each one stayed constant. My body was so worn out. I was at the point where I started to wonder why I didn't feel her crowning yet, wondered why I didn't feel a lot of low pressure from the bag of water still in tact. So the midwife recommended I get up and try to pee again. I didn't want to, and pretty sure I complained, but James helped me to the bathroom again, couldn't pee, but the next contraction caused my water to break. Then I was slammed with 3 back to back intense contractions.

I wanted to go lay back down, so James helped me back to the room but the constant cramping pain had increased its intensity. And when a contraction came, I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I kept telling myself I was near the end, that maybe there would only be one more contraction like that, "I can make it through one more" repeated through my head for about 6 more. I was still standing, sort of. James was pretty much holding my dead weight as each contraction hit, because my legs trembled.

I didn't feel the usual crowning pressure, or the urge to push, but because the contractions were so powerful I just pushed through one anyway, and it relieved some of the pain. So I said "I want to push", and James climbed up onto the bed to help me sit upright slightly in his arms. I had my right knee bent and laid down, my left knee bent and up, with each contraction I just barrelled through and pushed to relieve the contraction and soon I began to feel her head crown. That's when the primal strength took over. This time around my midwives were fairly hands off, only doing things when I asked. So when I asked for support around her head as I pushed, they weren't ready with the hot washcloths or olive oil like I had automatically at my birth of Maxwell. So another push without that before one of the midwives came back with the washcloths. But once it was applied I felt more comforted and pushed harder. James said he could feel every muscle in my upper body surge with strength as I pushed.

Her head presented normally, but then instead of a slight turn back and forth that babies do to rotate their shoulders through one at a time, Scarlett turned her head like looking back over her shoulder. That caused her back to present broad, both shoulders at once. As I was pushing, I kept thinking in my head "Why isn't she sliding out? Someone pull her out!" My instincts pushed longer and harder, and I was yelling more than I thought I ever would. I'm usually not loud while giving birth!

Both Maren and Kellan wanted to be there when their sister was born, we talked a lot with them about how things happen before the day ever arrived. They saw videos of live birth with me. They knew what to expect. But before I ever got to the point of pushing, I told James that I couldn't have them come in. I knew it was different and more difficult than my smooth labor and delivery with Max. He thought it might have just been nerves talking, so as I got to the point of pushing, he nodded to the midwife and asked them to have the kids come in. I yelled out "No!" I just couldn't think about how they might be feeling with this intense delivery, and think about getting the baby out at the same time. So they came in a minute after she was delivered. They were waiting in the living room with James's mom and she said they were nervous about hearing me yell a lot, but when they heard the baby let out a cry (her one and only) their eyes lit up like Christmas morning.

Their curious little faces came into the room and climbed up on the bed beside me as the midwife lifted the baby onto my lower belly. She had a short cord. She was so alert and looking around, very calm. I rubbed her back and talked to her, she arched her head back and just stared right into my eyes. The whole pregnancy I really missed that feeling of connection, so much stress on many fronts in our lives. But at that moment of seeing she was really ours, I said "I know you." My heart knew her in a spiritual way that just vibrated through me at that moment. Love at first sight.

Instead of James taking the usual ritual of cutting her cord, he gave that privilege to the big brother Kellan. He was so fascinated with seeing the cord and placenta and the new baby that he kissed through my belly every day. He was so excited! He did it with such focus and care, I was quite proud of seeing that maturity in my 6 year old wild man. And he told all of his friends and teacher at school the next day! Haha. Once her cord was cut, the midwife lifted her to my chest (I had no more strength.) She started bobbing her head up and down, rooting against my skin, and she latched right away to nurse. So alert, and so intense as she looked around everywhere. My mother in law had only seen hospital setting births, so when I started to nurse Scarlett, she was surprised and asked "Can they do that already?" Yup. And if they do it right away, they are better for it. She has had no nursing problems or frustrations at all.

Scarlett Phoenix came into the world on Tuesday March 13th, 2012 at 10:29 PM, weighing 7 lb 12 oz. No complications at all, we both are healthy and enjoying our new family. Because of how she was positioned during the pregnancy and her presentation during the birth, I'm having a longer time recovering than I usually do. Thankfully my husband and our friends have been there with every up and down these last 9 months have taken. Including this last trial of physical recovery from a difficult and hard delivery. But I know taking the path that I did, despite the challenge that it was, I know I avoided a c-section because of it all. I fought tooth and nail for every aspect of health and safety to bring that little girl into the world, I'm grateful for the strength that I found in my husband and my close friends who encouraged me to keep being strong. We are so blessed. My cup is full.