A friend keeps telling me that what happens in her life is just because it is her lot, not because of what she thinks first. This friend belongs to the same religion that I do, and it never ceases to amaze me how differently people can and do interpret scripture. I know the spirit speaks to us and teaches us little by little, and in our hearts so that we may understand in our own capacities... but still...
In my house "can't" is a dirty word. Not the kind that will earn a drop of hot sauce for saying it, but one that doesn't earn any sympathy because it's absolutely false, so don't tell a lie! There is only "doing" or "not doing." And when you tell a child that "can't" isn't an outcome to pursue, and leave them to their creativeness, they will show you how determined and resourceful they can be to find a solution, and always proves their whines of "I can't do it" to be totally false. Even if they realize instead they just might need to ask for a little help.
Why are these two thoughts related? Let me explain.
I gave a talk in church back in January, and it couldn't have been more perfect for my outlook, totally my cup of tea. It was based on the talk by President Uchtdorf of the LDS church called "Love of God" Here is my favorite quote:
Makes sense, right? But why do we only selectively apply that? It applies to everything!
If my children grow up with the excuse of "I can't do that," they will apply it. And an excuse is evidence of a contemplation. There are a lot of excuses, like not enough money, too old, too young, it's not my lot in life, etc. The more of those you fill your life with to reason with your mind about your reality, the more time you are spending contemplating things contrary to God's will.
My favorite person to listen to in my car is Wayne Dyer. He was sharing his thoughts about this in relation to the Wright Brothers. Whether they were the first to take flight or not, isn't the point, but that they didn't achieve it by contemplating staying on the ground. They contemplated flying! And ultimately what we seek (contemplate) determines who we are and who we will become.
I struggle to apply this, but I'm working on it. I grew up with a lot of "can't" and a lot of worries because of it. And sometimes that has been a stumbling block in my path. But one thing I say is "I am saving my money for something better" instead of saying "I can't afford that." I don't want to spend my life thinking about the things "I can't afford." Why would I? Can anyone answer that? Anyone? Anyone?
I want my children to grow up with the ability to dream big. And work hard. And say "Not yet, I will keep working and moving forward." Knowing sometimes the things you dream about, or think about, don't always come into fruition of how you expected them to, but as long as God is at the helm of their ship, those things they contemplate will turn out to be better than they expected them to be, even if they turn out differently. But don't every say "I can't. "
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