Kellan is finally at that age where all things boy scouts fill his little mind. I was so happy when he said he couldn't wait to join scouts. But because we preferred him to join our church's troop, he did have to wait. 2 extra years. Which, to a little boy DYING to be involved is an eternity! The Boy Scouts of America start at 6 for tiger scouts, but our church didn't adopt the tiger program. They start with bobcats. But they also combined the scouting program with activities days for boys 8-11, so our church boys are 2 years older when they start scouts.
We contemplated letting Kellan join another local troop when they came around to the elementary school. He was dealing with a lot of anxiety and we felt like he needed something individual to feel involvement with. But with James out of work, it limited our choices so we decided on scouts. Then, in talking with some of our ward scout leaders, they invited Kellan into the troop because he was old enough to be a bobcat in their program. He was over the moon! If I let him, he would have slept in his scout shirt. I was so relieved to see my little boy stress a little less about his life and enjoy himself again.
I was surprised to find controversy after being in the program for almost 6 months. An email came from one of the leaders, because a parent complained about "fairness" of her child having to wait until he was 8. Kellan wasn't earning any of the achievements for the boys who were already 8. He was only accomplishing tasks based on the BSoA outline, no unreasonable exception was made on his behalf. It was petty. He was heartbroken to learn that the feelings of a parent may take president over the feelings of a little boy, and that he might have to miss scouts for 2 months until his birthday. But we challenged the discussion by pointing out in the handbook it replaced activity day boys but did not have to restrict the age of scouts if the individual scout leader was accepting of the age set by the BSoA. Kellan was allowed to stay. (just not earn any awards. Despite that he was old enough. Oh well. It was a small victory we were happy with.)
So the day for the pinewood derby arrived, he was so happy to be included in it and talked about his car for days before he started on it! The idea and method were all his own ideas, with help from his dad for the initial cutting of it. I was so proud of him for how satisfied he was with his work.
Of course every little boy wants to win first place. We didn't search the Internet for secrets and tips to maximize that, we wanted his first experience to be genuine to his own achievement and level. And now he has some ideas on how to improve on it for next year! He was thrilled to win against a couple of the boys, and humble to lose too.
He watched the score board keep track of the racers as it narrowed down, getting so excited to see who would win. A couple rematches ensued, lots of cheering for their friends. He loved it thoroughly.
Until he saw a boy who came in second place not get the award. It was mistakingly given to another boy, who's parents watched every detail of the race, knew their son had lost ( you could tell they were disappointed.) but when their son was given the award mistakingly, they said nothing. This was not lost on Kellan, and he was quite sad for the little boy who didn't get the award. The irony of "following rules" and trying to keep Kellan out of the program, but accepting an award for their son that he did not earn was not lost on us.
He congratulated both boys anyway, and was an amazing sport about the whole situation. It wasn't his place or award to make a fuss about.
He painted flames on his car, and the number 88 after Earnhart Jr's car. So he was given an award for "most realistic." And his mock drivers license went right into his wallet.
This is the stuff that makes life worth it. The smile that was glued to his face for days afterward makes me look forward happily to many more boy filled events and activities. He's a pretty cool kid. When asked about his car, he said "My dad gave me lots of good tips. It was awesome." He's so right.
4 comments:
You very obviously do not have all of the information. We went to the judges and James Haslam right away and told them of the mistake and they dismissed it. Then we went to Mckinleys father and pointed out the mistake and he waved it off and said it doesn't matter, it's just fun. You didn't know these facts because it had absolutely nothing to do with you. Every parent in there was a little disappointed when their child didn't win it all because all good parents want their children to be successful in all of their endeavors. But that doesn't mean we don't praise them in the successes they do have and count them as their own personal victory. I don't apologize for wanting my child to succeed, and I don't apologize for doing everything I can make sure all of the church programs are following the guidelines set apart by the church leaders so that they run correctly. There are those who think they are exceptions to these guidelines, but that is what separates the wheat from the chaff. I don't imagine you'll keep this comment on here because you have made it very clear that you wish to blast me to as many people who will lend you their ear, and this points out your own faults and pettiness. But in the end April my actions will speak for my true nature and your words and actions are speaking volumes for yours. I don't know why you care so much about the things I do anyway. I suggest you forget about me and turn your focuses onto your family. We are all done here. In every way. You have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you and this is one bridge that I needed to burn to the ground and my life is so much more uplifting, positive and peaceful without it.
Oh Cara.
My blog was about our experience. Nothing identifying you in it, except your response of it. Which, is curious as to why you read my blog if there is such a need to burn a bridge to the ground? I am sorry that you feel that way. You have been holding me under a microscope for a very long time, I don't feel the need to blast you. But you, on the other hand, have pointed out very clearly your need to judge every aspect of my life. Your interpretation of guidelines is understandable. But please don't let your need to be right over run your need to be happy. My words and my actions are just about finding happiness in my life for my family, it affects no one but me. It is interesting of your endeavors to control that. I hope you find peace in your life.
6.5 Ward Primary Presidency
The ward Primary presidency, under the direction of a counselor in the bishopric, has responsibility for Scouting for eight-, nine-, ten-, and eleven-year-old boys. The Church does not participate in Scouting programs for boys younger than eight years old. A member of the presidency is responsible to see that Scouting is organized appropriately.
Straight from the handbook. No interpretations needed.
The child who took second place and his parents...that wasn't identifying me? My boy took second place...I'm his parent. Did you think I wasn't going to defend myself and my family against your false judgements that you put on the internet for all to see?
Happiness is not tearing others down or pointing out what you think their flaws are. Hopefully soon you will learn that and figure out what true happiness is.
The only reason I ever checked your blog was because the RS told us your family was struggling and to stay up to date so we could see how to help. Which is what I did. No more. I've deleted your link, you're on your own. Write whatever you want with your self-righteous rantings, they won't reach me, and again, only speak volumes about you.
I wash my hands of you. Bishop can worry about your issues and toxic nature.
I've blocked you from contacting me, email, text, and phone. Please stop reading my blogs, every one. If you don't think you have that kind of self control, write down your ip address and ask Bishop to hand it to me, I'll happily block you from being able to access my websites. Stop watching my every move and judging it at church and feeling the need to post your opinions of me and false accusations on the internet. Forget I exist please. Do not speak of me to anyone anymore, and for heavens sake move on with your life and focus on your family and your own many faults and trials you're facing as we speak, I'll worry about mine.
Goodbye.
Thank you, for pointing out what happiness is. I was confused as you proceeded to point out my flaws and tear me down. I posted in a non identifying way of how my son reacted to our experience. You think very highly of yourself to have interpreted this to be personally about you. Yes, your son is the one who got the second place award. I didn't go further into detail of our conversations, because this wasn't a blog to tear you down. Contrary to what you think. I would hope you'd be mature and take a step back and think if things could have been handled better or differently. But the experience wasn't exclusive to how it affected you, your son, or the other boy. I shared my feelings and the events that were pertaining to my son. Perhaps if you aren't happy with the results, question better your behavior before you act.
I stopped reading your blogs months ago. Maybe you remember when I replied to your emails, trying to be as gracious as possible to someone so hostile, asking you to please stop emailing and texting me. I have no interest in your life, which is why I've shown none.
Talk about you? Toxic nature? Tearing people down? That never has been my style.
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